They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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