Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
