You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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