It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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