I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
why do cheetos always look like penises
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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