Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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