NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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