i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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