Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
