just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
