So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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