Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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