Fuck appropriateness.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
