I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
