I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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