No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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