If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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