I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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