Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
