They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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