After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
