best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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