She said her name was "party"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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