The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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