She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
