A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have feelings that need drinking.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
