I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
