I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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