i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
