Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
