my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
