I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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