I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
God, I missed his penis.
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