I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
