she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
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