He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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