i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
