I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
