Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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