Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
