4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
People in love make me want to vomit
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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