you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
