fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize