I will die if light touches me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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