Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
ttyl tear gas
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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