I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.