whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My breasts were aching with rage.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm gonna fight the coyote