So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.