She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
