it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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