we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
