My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
