For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
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Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
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Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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