dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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