Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This is my gift to your gina
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
