He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
