I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
